SPOTD: Top Ten Worst Ways For Men To Look Sexy.

Askmen.com has released an article for men to become more attractive to women. It’s total bull and I’ll go through each of 10 points to explain why. Enjoy the absolute stupidity of this article.

“TOP 10 WAYS FOR MEN TO LOOK SEXIER”
“1. Spend an hour a day exercising.
Women gravitate toward muscular males with well-toned bodies.”

Bullshit. Too much muscle is gross. Women like strong men, but that doesn’t mean we don’t like a little cushion for the pushin, also women have different tastes! Some girls like big boys, some girls like skinny geeky boys, some girls like nasty muscular dudes. Ew.

“2. Go easy on the aftershave or cologne.
Do this so your natural male scent, which is a real turn-on to women, will still come through.”

Your natural scent is not a turn-on. Wear some goddamn deodorant.

“3. Create the image of the ideal V-shaped body.
Wearing the right clothing, which includes well-tailored blazers to make your torso appear slimmer and V-neck shirts that skim your body without being too tight or too loose.”

What in the hell is an ‘ideal V-shape’? Wear whatever the fuck you want. If we like it, we like it. If we don’t, we’ll tell you. Trust me.

“4. Use facial hair to make your face more symmetrical.
if you prefer a clean shaven look, don’t leave patches of hair on your face. Experiment with a beard or mustache to determine which look creates more balance between the two sides of your face.”

Symmetry is pretty much naturally impossible in a human face. Facial hair looks good on some dudes, it doesn’t on others. Don’t use facial hair to make your face looks balanced if that’s all it’s doing, you’ll look like a fucking dumbass. Also, beards are scratchy and the hair gets in your mouth when you make out and shit…. it’s nasty.

“5. Create a more prominent, masculine jaw with facial hair.
Grow a beard to cover a small chin or add volume to a small face to make you appear more manly.”

Making your face big and furry doesn’t necessarily make you more manly. It can equally make you more monkey/ape-like. Again, facial hair is only for some dudes.

“6. Stand up straight!
Good posture makes you look more confident and dominant.”

Okay, I gotta agree with this. Standing up straight also makes you appear taller. Women like dudes who are taller than they are. (Generally…)

“7. Wear shoes with half-inch heels to look taller.
Women prefer men who are tall.”

Fuck. That. I agree with the tall thing, but heels are a turn OFF. (Unless you’re a woman.)

“8. If you want a serious, committed relationship, smile.
This shows women you’re a nice guy.”

Smiles are nice, but getting to know someone and illustrating your personality “shows women you’re a nice guy”. Psycho people smile all the time. Creepers smile at girls. This doesn’t mean you’re going to enter into a committed relationship with them. COME. ON.

“9. Practice looking broody.
Women who want only sex prefer men with a brooding look over men who smile.”

First, you are completely contradicting your previous statement (number 8). Second, ‘broody’ is a synonym for ‘emo’. Meaning this dude probably has emotional problems and baggage and MAJOR issues. Don’t try and bang any dude who looks down just because this article says so. If you’re looking to just hook up, chances are some dude is gonna come and push his junk in your trunk on the dance floor. Boom. Problem solved.

“10. Remove excess body hair.
Especially on the chest and abdomen.”

Chest and ab hair is manly. None of either is teenage-boy-ish. Get your shit straight, Askmen.com. (P.s. Back hair is gross.)

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